Ten Little South Parkians
by ArtemisMoon99
Summary: Ten Little South Parkians gathered at South Park High. Little did they know, they were all going to die.
1. You are cordially invited, Part 1

Authors Note:

Hello all! My name is Artemis. I've been writing for a few years, but this is my first published fanfiction here. I am not new to the South Park fandom, but this is the first attempt I've made at writing a South Park fic. It's not entirely planned yet, but I'm shooting for fewer than fifteen chapters. I don't want this to become an epic.

It is loosely based on Agatha Christie's novel And Then There Were None.

Please review. I welcome constructive criticism.

Thank you and enjoy!

I

Mr. Eric Cartman silently cursed the driver in the other lane as he tried to make a right turn. He'd forgotten some of these old streets, and a feeling of worry was starting to creep into his brain. He feared he might not make it to the school in time. Eric leaned forward in his seat to peer at a distant street sign. "Elm" it read. He was very close.

It was quite a strange feeling to be coming back to this place after such a long time. There was so much pain and so much joy that he left behind in this town. As he drove past old shops and houses, he felt all the strange happenings of his childhood come back. There was the True Value parking lot where he and the guys got served. There was the movie theater where he saw his beloved "The Passion of the Christ" sixty-one times. There was the campground where he drove all the nasty goddamn hippies out of South Park. He smiled at the last memory. It was the warmest of all.

Eric sighed as he saw the sign for Lewis Road. His memories had carried him too far. Mr. Eric Cartman stopped in front of a house and pulled out the contents of his glove compartment. A map and a letter stared up at him from the leather passenger seat. He consulted the map for a moment and traced the correct road with his finger. He was very close to his destination. He then smiled to himself as he re-read the letter he'd gotten four days ago.

_Dear Mr. Eric Cartman,_

_You are cordially invited to __the __Sou__th Park High School class of 2015 T__en__th Year R__eunion. Please join us on the 18__th__ of May in the School Gymnas__ium for a night of fun, laughter__ and nostalgia. It's sure to be a memorable night._

_Hope to see you there!_

_Stephen Kenneth Ha__i__ry_

_SPHS Principal_

Eric Cartman smiled. He'd had some rough times at that place, but maybe tonight would be the night that made up for all those crappy times. Maybe he'd be able to come together with old friends and patch things up. Perhaps this was the night that the new and improved Eric Cartman would earn some respect for his authority.

II

Kyle Broflovski sighed out his last puff of his cigarette before throwing it on the pavement below him and stamping on it. That would be the last one for tonight. He was pretty sure that there'd be no smoking at this gay little reunion. He wouldn't have even come tonight if Stan hadn't forced him. Why did he want to be here in this uncomfortable re-creation of a prom with a bunch of people he hated ten years ago, and still hated now? This was just going to be painful. He knew that the only reason Stan even wanted him here was to be a designated driver in case Wendy rejected him and Stan got way too drunk. That's all he was to these people ten years later. He was just the responsible one that everyone loaded their crap onto. What an existence.

III

Stan Marsh studied his reflection in the rearview mirror of his car. He hastily scratched off a piece of salad stuck between his teeth and frowned. Was this whole night going to be a complete waste? What if Wendy rejected him again? What if she was seeing someone? What if she was married?! Stan started to bite on his nails, a habit that he'd never been able to get rid of. This night could turn out to be a complete disaster. He just hoped that when and if he got drunk, he wouldn't make a complete fool out of himself in front of the woman he loved.

Stan took one last look in the mirror, and a deep breath before heading towards the front doors of South Park High School. Behind him he heard the ringing of a bell and quickly turned. A homeless man with a sandwich board on was walking down the street ringing a bell and yelling "Repent! The end is near!" Stan smiled to himself. 'Not for me buddy.' He thought. 'Not for me.'

IV

Kenny McCormick sped down the little Colorado roads at speeds greatly exceeding the limit. He didn't care. The cops around here were stupider than the cows, and in this hot rod it was a crime to go slow. Kenny felt like sex on wheels. He couldn't wait to get back to this rinky-dink little town and show all those assholes that made fun of him for being poor, just what Kenneth McCormick (CEO of MaxiCorp International) was made of. The wind blew his blond hair off his face as he drove past countless farms and houses and places that reminded him of his less than perfect childhood. Things were different now. He was Kenneth McCormick (CEO of MaxiCorp International). He was unstoppable. He was a force to be reckoned with!

V

Miss Wendy Testaburger smiled confidently to herself as she strode out of her expensive car and across the parking lot to the front of her old high school. She was absolutely stunning. Wendy had long, raven colored hair that draped down her back like silk. She sported a perfect hourglass frame and long, beautiful legs. She was dressed to the nines in a sophisticated pink and black suit with a matching purse. It wasn't like she had anything to prove to the old hicks from her school, but Wendy loved nothing more than showing off. She recognized a few faces as she made her way up to the front doors. Around the side of the building, she could have sworn that she saw good old Stanley Marsh. She'd have to say hello to him later. Just for old time's sake. It wasn't like…she harbored feelings for him still. After all, they'd only had a few flings throughout school. Nothing serious, right? She tried to tell that to her stomach which was mysteriously twisting itself into knots.


	2. You are cordially invited, Part 2

VI

_'Oh Jesus. Why did I ever agree to this? I'm not cut out to be a high school teacher! All those kids will be looking up to me to __inspire them and tell them about the world. I'll have to make up homework and lectures and a lesson plan and tests and quizzes and exams. No! That is way too much pressure!'_

Mr. Tweek Tweak shuddered at his inner monologue as a shaking hand brought a coffee mug to his lips. It was his third day back at South Park High, and he was still freaking out about the new teaching job he was hired for. Why had he even become a stupid teacher?! It was way too much pressure, and classes hadn't even started yet. Tweek tried to ignore the large knot of emotions festering inside him as he sat alone in the teacher's lounge with his coffee. This would have to be his last cup. He glanced up at the clock and realized that the reunion in the gym would be starting soon.

_'I'm going to see all my old friends that I haven't seen in ten years. Oh God, what if they don't like me anymore? What if they're all married and I'm the only one who is still single? What if they don't recognize me and I get kicked out? Oh Jesus!'_

VII

Philip Pirrip, or Pip as he was more commonly known, glanced up at the clock in the kitchen as he made his way out to the adjourning gymnasium with a great bowl of strawberry flavored punch. Everyone here tonight was going to be in their late twenties. There was no doubt in Pip's mind that the punch he was holding was probably going to be spiked. No matter though. Tonight would be a night of jolly good raucous fun!

Pip went back to the kitchen and emptied bags of chips into brightly colored bowls. He could hardly contain his excitement. No doubt the people he'd grown up had changed in these many years. Pip himself had been living in an apartment downtown with his good friend Tweek, (Friends. They were only friends.), and he'd been hired as the school's new head chef. It was a bit strange though. Himself and Tweek being hired through an agency at the same time to work at the same school. He pushed the notion out of his mind though. Just a coincidence and nothing more.

VIII

Doctor Stotch hummed a song about apples to himself as he pulled up to the front of the school. It hadn't been a long drive. He worked at Hell's Pass hospital right outside of town. He had been looking forward to this all day. A high school reunion, how fun! Butters stopped his car and looked in the back seat. "B-better take my bag in…in case someone gets hurt." He said softly, reaching for his little medical kit. Dr. Stotch smiled to himself as he walked up the front stairs of the school. Wait until everybody saw that little Butters had become a big important doctor man.

IX

Clyde Donavon rubbed his tired eyes as he walked up to the school. Stupid faggy reunion. Stupid get together with stupid people that he didn't like. What a waste of time this was going to be, but that was what he needed. He needed to waste time, or he'd be going home to that infernal wife of his to hear about something that happened at the beauty parlor today, or who Bebe Stevens was sleeping around with this week, and since the latter wasn't him, he just didn't care at all. He'd rather be dead.

X

Walter Davis checked himself in the mirror one last time. He really had to look like he belonged here. He'd learned some of the names, and he'd just have to stick to those few if he wanted to be convincing. If he lost this one…he'd probably get bumped down to junior division… or worse, be unemployed. It wasn't everyday that he got a hot tip like this. He'd have to be careful though. These people could be dangerous. They could all be armed to the hilt, and it was his job to keep the people of this town safe.

AN: I'd had Butters' apples song stuck in my head all day.

Loo loo loo, I got some apples. Loo loo loo, you got some too. Loo loo loo lets make apple sauce. Take off our clothes and loo loo loo!


End file.
